In last night's episode of Supernatural, "Mommy Dearest", our favorite foursome began their quest to hunt down and kill the Mother of All. I predicted that they would fail, and fail miserably. Why? Because it's not even the end of the season yet, and all they've come across is a very brief and very obscure piece of lore that said that the Mother could be burned with Phoenix ashes (which they were barely able to get). Not killed. Not utterly destroyed. Just burned. Let's see how they did.
SPOILERS!
The episode opens with Eve walking into a bar, barefoot and in her skimpy white dress. She brushes the cheek of a guy coming out of the bar (we know that bad things will happen to this dude now). She kisses another guy inside (Arrrgh!) and touches a few more people, and they start turning into monsters and eating each other while Eve sips what we think is a Bloody Mary. Huh.
Dean is busy loading shotgun shells with Phoenix ash, preparing to do battle with Eve. He's skeptical about their effectiveness, since the ash doesn't seem to burn humans. He demonstrates by smearing some on his arm. Sam shrugs and says that it must be one of those things that only works on monsters, like iron.
Sam, Dean and Bobby are coming up empty on their search for Eve, so they decide to call in Castiel for his super special angel searching powers. Cas comes back with a blast from the past, a non-human-eating vampire called Lenore, who we met in the second season along with Gordon. Lenore's nest has abandoned her to obey the call of the wild (aka, Mother), and she is struggling to keep herself from eating humans. In fact, she admits that she's slipped up and fed on human blood. She gives the Winchesters Eve's location and begs them to kill her - Eve's voice is too difficult to resist. Sam and Dean dither about keeping Lenore secure until they take care of the Mother, but Cas promptly destroys her with angel fire and tells them to quit wasting time.
The four of them head to Oregon, glancing nervously around what seems to be a pretty normal town. As they head into a diner for Bobby to do research on and complain about an iPad (PRODUCT PLACEMENT!), Cas discovers that his angel powers have been blocked. He can't zap anywhere, and he can't burn monsters with angel fire. Dean gripes about how useless Cas is without his powers and Cas (understandably) gets sulky and offended. They split up into two teams: Dean and Cas with investigate the office of a doctor who has called in the CDC, while Sam and Bobby go to the doctor's house. Team Dean discovers the body of the guy Eve touched, and Team Sam discover that the doctor has flown the coop - there's no trace of him anywhere. As they head toward the dead guy's house, Cas notices someone exactly like him in the window. Sam and Dean rush in and get the dying man (who is the orignial guy's friend but is now somehow a very sick shapeshifter) to tell them about the bar.
The bar is a complete mess of bodies, full of people with vampire teeth and wraith spikes, culminating in some kinid of new monster that has both. Since Dean discovered this new monster, he calls them the Jefferson Starships (hard to kill, annoying as hell). The police burst in on the four of them surrounded by dozens of bodies. Dean ducks behind the bar in the confusion as the police arrest Sam, Bobby and Cas. Sam sees the security video feed as they're escorted into the police station and freaks out, warning Cas and Bobby that the cops are actually Starships. Dean comes in to save the day, beheading a few cops but leaving the sheriff alive for interrogation. As Bobby puts the squeeze on Sheriff Starship, Sam and Dean clear the building and discover two boys bound and gagged in one of the cells. It turns out that these are the sons of the disappeared doctor and his wife, who have become Starship food. Touched beyond the capacity for rational thought at the sight of two orphaned brothers (Sob!), Sam and Dean take precious time driving the kids fifteen miles out of town to leave them with their uncle. The car is silent, but it's completely obvious that Sam and Dean are completely lost in nostalgia for their "Us Against the World" childhood, and see themselves in these boys.
Back at the police station, Cas is grumbling about wasting time, and Bobby tells him that the Winchesters have always done whatever they wanted to do. Bobby's getting nowhere with Sheriff Starship, so Cas asks him for five minutes alone. Bobby seems a little sickened by the screams coming from the interrogation room, and Sam and Dean get back just in time for Cas to come out, wiping his bloody hands. Cas tells them that Eve is actually holed up in the diner they were in that afternoon, and there's a collective facepalm. The camera pans back to the bloody mess in the interrogation room, and we see that apparently, Cas pulled the Starship's head off with his bare hands. Not so useless now, right Dean?
Sam and Dean come up with a brilliant strategy of attack: Sam and Dean will go into the diner alone, and then if they don't succeed, Cas and Bobby will try it. See? Brilliant. Dean gives everyone a Phoenix bullet, and they head inside. The diner is filled with starships. The waitress comes over to take their order and introduces herself - she's Eve (we couldn't see if she had a nametag, but how awesome would it be if she did?). Cue another facepalm as Sam and Dean realize that she was right under their nose before. Eve explains that she was happy with the status quo - her monsters would turn a few people, a few hunters would kill a few monsters, whatever. But with Crowley torturing and killing monsters to discover the location of Purgatory, she's angry now and just wants to take over the entire world. That's why she developed the Starships. In fact, the Starships are so perfect that not even Sam and Dean realized that they transported one of them out of town, ready to begin the world domination thing. Cue another facepalm.
Eve takes the form of Sam and Dean's mother to highlight their major parental ISSUES. They whine a little about that. She offers them a deal: deliver Crowley to her, and she'll go back home without taking over the world. The brothers are confused - Crowley's dead, right? Eve insists that he's still alive and after monster souls (power source!), and then gloats as some Starships drag in Cas and Bobby. She does some specific gloating to Cas, telling him that because she's older than he is, she knows what makes angels tick, and as long as she's around he'll have no power. She threatens to turn Sam and Dean, to force them to do what she asks anyway. Dean tells her to bite him, and she does. Then she gets all burninated - Dean gloats a little as he explains that he took some of the ashes with a shot of whiskey, so his blood's contaminated with Phoenix ash. Eve dies, the Starships go berserk, and Cas shouts for everyone to close their eyes as he burns them with angel fire.
After the dust settles, so to speak, Cas heals Dean of his Eve bite and zaps them over to the kids' uncle's house so that they can stop the mini-Starships. They discover the body of the uncle (death by children) and the bodies of the kids. There's the smell of sulfur, so they conclude that a demon must have taken care of this somehow. They tell Cas what Eve said about Crowley being alive, and Cas gets huffy, saying that he'll look into it immediately. He vanishes. Bobby wonders aloud if Cas is being straight with them - an angel wouldn't make a "mistake" burning a demon's bones unless he meant to. Dean scoffs at this, but Sam quietly agrees with Bobby. Back at the diner, Cas surveys the carnage as Crowley appears behind him, asking how many times he has to clean up the angel's messes. (Dun dun DUNNNNN!)
Questions that still need answers:
Well, color me surprised. I honestly didn't expect the Phoenix ashes would work, or at least that they wouldn't get the chance to use them effectively. And Eve is dead. After all of that build-up, she goes out like a punk. Huh.
So who exactly is the Big Bad this season? Does this mean it's Rafael? Crowley?
Crowley's back, baby! I can't even tell you how happy this makes me, because I was infuriated by his death in "Caged Heat", and by that entire episode. Also, it makes perfect sense for Cas to be working with Crowley, because they both have the same ultimate goal: keep Lucifer and Michael caged for all eternity. Neither of them want "Apocalypse II: The Armageddoning", and this is the "dirty little secret" that Rachel got all stabby about in the last episode.
So Cas is after souls to defeat Rafael. But how is he going to use them? Does Rafael have access to more? What the Hell is going on?
Next Week:
We find out exactly how hard Cas' life has been since he's had to fight the Civil War in Heaven. Will the Winchesters understand? Probably not.
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