Agnostic

I wish that I could have an open and honest discussion about religion with my family. It's important to me. It's something that I give a lot of serious thought. The problem that I face with this kind of discussion (politics are the same way, actually), is that any sort of doubt that I may express about things that they believe is perceived as a symptom of profound mental imbalance, even brainwashing. And I understand, to an extent, why they feel that way. Their religious beliefs are extremely strong, and deal with such important ideas as existence before and after life on earth - things that are significant in an eternal, universal sense. I admire their faith. I would never try to persuade them not to practice their religion. I wish that they would extend me the same courtesy and respect.

These are the things that I think about the most:

Can anyone truly know God, God's will, and Its judgement while in this current mortal existence?

I'm not saying that everyone who claims to have communicated with God is lying or ill-intentioned - I don't believe that. What I have trouble with is that there are people who say that they know the way God wants us to do things. They know what is "right" and what is "wrong". They have no problem casting judgement themselves, so confident they are in knowing the mind of a Being who - by their own admission - is so powerful that It created the universe and everything in it. I'm asking in earnest - How do you know? I would quake at thinking that I know someone's eternal fate. I would shudder away from that kind of cosmic responsibility. I would have to be absolutely certain - no doubt whatsoever - to pass judgement like that, and I would also have to be sure that I had this Being's authorization to do so.

Is there only One True Religion, and will only those who believe in it go to Heaven (or whichever eternal paradise one believes in)?

This is tricky territory for any rational discussion of religion. No one wants to hear that their religion may not be the only one on earth with the real truth. This is the kind of thing that starts wars, that inspires killing in the name of God. It's funny that there are so many loopholes around "Thou shalt not kill". I'm pretty sure that it doesn't say "Thou shalt not kill, unless you do it to prove a point or get something you want". But aside from religious war/killings, what is it about any particular religion that makes them believe they are the only ones to be "saved"? I really find it hard to believe that if God knows us personally and loves each and every one of us, that It would condemn good people just because they didn't subscribe to a particular set of beliefs. This is something that I take very personally. I have been told that my particular and personal beliefs have no place in certain religions, and that I would need to change them if I were to be "saved". I don't appreciate being told, essentially, that I would be condemned for believing in different things. I don't claim to have communicated with God in any way that I can understand or recognize, but I don't get any feeling that God would disapprove of me or what I think. If I am one of Its creations, why would it be surprised when I question things? Am I somehow different than what It intended? And if so, who's at fault - me or God? I've been told that if I somehow don't receive confirmation from God that certain religious beliefs are true, then there is something wrong with me, not the beliefs. These beliefs indicate the existence of a Jealous God. I refuse to believe that a Creator could ever be such a Tyrant. People will tell you to stand up for what you believe in, but they're not so keen on the idea when your beliefs are not their beliefs.

How can holy books be the absolute Word of God when 1) there are so many of them, and 2) they have been handed down, revised, translated, re-translated, edited, formatted, and debated over thousands of years by so many different people?

This is one thing that I have a really hard time accepting (so I don't). I find it difficult to believe that people accept these texts as unassailable facts when there are so many inherent contradictions within the texts themselves, let alone what they preach and what people practice. This leads into my next big question:

What's with the inequality between men and women in most of the world's religions?

If God created us all, we should all be equal. And yet many religions insist on separation - sometimes to an extreme degree - of the sexes. "Separate" is not "equal". I believe that we have learned this in other areas of our history, but it's still something we struggle with. I won't believe that God ever intended women to be thought of as "lesser" or "inferior" in any way. I don't accept the roles offered me by some religions - roles that are entirely based on my gender. I don't like standards that are applied to women rigidly and men flexibly.

I hope that any of my religious friends who may read this posting will understand that I am not trying to tell them what to believe, or that any of their beliefs are wrong or bad. I'm just trying to articulate my personal spiritual questions. Please note that I tried not to indicate any religion in particular or by name, out of respect. Because I do respect your beliefs. I wouldn't dream of asking you not to practice. I know that there is a lot of good that comes from religion. But I don't feel comfortable subscribing to a particular belief system. I cannot commit myself to something that I don't know. I'm agnostic. I don't know - and I accept that.