Good Morning

6:17 AM

Still quiet. Not quite inclined to stir things up. Perhaps a little later. Definitely before the noisy thing goes off. If the human gets up before the noisy thing, usually it doesn't go off.

6:43 AM

Up on the bed. Waking the human: Stage One. Work from the feet first (though in emergencies, go directly to the head/face area, whatever you can reach). Slight foot movement under the sheets. Attack with extreme prejudice.

(THUMP)

6:44 AM

That was rude. The feet are not supposed to fight back. Back up on the bed. This time, focus on the stomach. Up on the dresser? Yes. Knock off a picture frame just because. Targeting stomach . . . locked. Bombs away!

(THUMP) (AAAAAH!) (THUMP)

6:45 AM

Victory. The human is up. No, no! Not to the bathroom first! Stupid human. Breakfast first! Not the crappy dry food. Breeeaaakfaaaasst! Breeeeaaakfaaaasst! (SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH) Breeeeaaaakfaaaasst! Finally. Come on, come on, to the kitchen! That's where the breakfast is! They forget so easily. Oooh! Breakfast! Put it down, put it down! Ahhh.

(NOM NOM NOM NOM)

6:52 AM

(SLURP)

Not bad. Had better breakfasts in the past. Back up onto the bed. Still slightly warm under the covers. Time for the early-morning nap. Much more restful up here when the human isn't taking up the whole thing.

7:31 AM

Wha--what? Noooooo! No! Stupid human! Don't make the bed while I'm in it! No no no! (THUMP) Unfair. The human sleeps under the sheets all night.

(SHUN)

7:45 AM

Wait! The human is leaving already! No scratches? None? Wait! I'll come outside, too. (SLAM) Rude. See what kind of mess she comes home to.