Happiest place on Earth?

Disneyland bills itself as "the happiest place on Earth." Why does Disney think that it can make this claim? Is it because after you wait in line to buy an entrance ticket, then wait in line to enter, you are magically transported back into a state of childlike wonder once you make it past the body-counters at the gate? Or is it because when you pose with a beloved Disney character (after waiting in line), smiling wide enough to break your face, you still know at the back of your mind that underneath the guise of the happy, waving character beside you is a sweaty underpaid actor who couldn't care less about posing with you - all they can think about is the long line of people behind you and how many more damn pictures they have to pose for before the end of their shift. Perhaps the happiness comes from ten-dollar chili dogs accompanied by a three-dollar Coke, which you are able to acquire after waiting in line. Maybe the happiness spills over from the many small children, who signify their happiness by screaming and throwing hugely impressive tantrums.

Don't get me wrong - there are a few things that I really love about Disneyland. I love Space Mountain, Pirates of the Caribbean, and the Haunted Mansion. I love the theatre of the place - all of the amazing set dressing and costuming. I love the structures - the buildings, the rides, all of it. That said, one day at Disneyland every few years is plenty of the experience for me. My love of the craft of Disneyland is outweighed by my intense dislike of people (in general). Especially lots and lots of people in cramped circumstances. It's amazing, isn't it, that Disneyland (the happiest place on Earth, in case you forgot) is a lot like a Communist state - the few who can afford it receive special treatment, and everyone else gets to wait in line. What's even more amazing is that people pay lots of money for the privilege to do so.

If Disneyland is the happiest place on Earth, then I have little hope for happiness. If it isn't the happiest place on Earth, is it instead the place "where dreams come true"? What kind of dreams are people having if that's true? Their dream is to herd their unhappy children through a sweltering maze of people, subject them to being held by large, frightening creatures and whirled through the air in strange machines? What sadistic people we are. Why aren't we dreaming about world peace or saving endangered species of plants and animals?

The fact is that Disneyland, while it can make for a good time, should not be an example of "the happiest place on Earth" or a place "where dreams come true." What it should be is a fun-house mirror - a distorted reflection of ourselves. Perhaps to some of us, this reflection has made us look taller, slimmer - something that we want to obtain. To others, the result of this false happiness is ugly and twisted. It may be wonderful on the surface, but the distortion, the unnaturalness of it always lurks beneath. Keep an eye to the true heart of a thing, if you want to know what it actually is.

Geekiness

Recently a friend of mine posted a new blog entry about the definition of "cool". This friend had expressed some annoyance that a person she knew had characterized an obnoxious acquaintance of hers as "cool". This led her to wonder what truly makes someone "cool" - is "coolness" based on inclusive or exclusive criteria? My friend's blog entry made me think about "cool" as well - is there only one kind of "cool"? I suppose it depends on who you ask. If you look at it a certain way, there are as many types of "cool" as there are hobbies, genres, fan clubs, skills, etc. I might think that a certain pastime is complete waste of time, while someone else might devote large amounts of time and income in pursuit of it. Does this mean that this other person is not as "cool" as I am? If you ask me, the answer is yes. Not that I'm an expert, but here are a few different types of "cool." See if you can guess which "cool" category I might belong to (don't let the title of this blog entry give it away):

"Teen-cool": "Teen-cool" is a very exclusive kind of cool, although its only requirement is to be within the ages of thirteen and nineteen. Kids who are younger than thirteen can't wait to be teens - that's when the world will start to take you seriously. That's when you get to start doing the really grown-up things, like taking a driver's ed class or going on dates. That's when you're finally out from under your parents' thumb, with the freedom you know that you deserve. Those of you who are in your post-teen years are no doubt wiping away tears of involuntary laughter. Life is never what you expect it to be, especially when you try to pin it down with arbitrary deadlines - "Once I reach this age, life will be so much simpler, etc." Teens deal with the disappointment of their teenage years by trying to be "cool". "Teen-cool" is really nothing more than trying desperately to impress your peers instead of your parents. It is the height of embarrassment to have a sibling (older or younger) acknowledge you at school - God forbid one of your parents shows up! The only way to stay "teen-cool" is to disavow any connection with anyone who isn't a teenager - unless they happen to be really cool in a different way.

"Athletic-cool": There is a very common name for someone who is "athletic-cool". Anyone? That's right - jock. These are the people who can do almost anything that requires physical dexterity. These are the people who, in your high school gym class, no matter which sport the class happened to be "studying" at the time, somehow played the games as if generation upon generation of their family had been painstakingly cultivated and bred down to produce the perfect athlete. These are the people whose veins run with a combination of maximum-capacity oxygen-carrying red blood cells and Gatorade (with some steroids thrown in for good measure). These are the people who are born knowing the rules of football, or baseball, or basketball (and every method to circumvent those rules when the referee isn't watching). These were the people who passed U.S. History by showing up three times and having their finals graded on a curve.

"Geek-cool": This kind of "cool" is very rarely recognized by anyone outside it. "Geek-cool" is characterized by an excessive devotion to something with no practical physical value. This could be almost anything: stamps, comic books, video games, movies, computers, books, etc. This type of "cool" has its own exclusivity - not that people are beating down the door to join in. "Geek-cool" is based on knowledge. Whether or not this knowledge is considered useless by the rest of the world is irrelevant. It takes time to learn both of the Elvish alphabets and the Dwarvish alphabet and become fluent/literate in these made-up languages. It takes time to memorize the call-sign of every Imperial Storm-trooper in all six of the Star Wars movies (though technically in Episodes 1-3 the Storm-troopers were still part of a Republic). It takes time to go through the trailer of the next big comic book movie frame-by-frame to make sure that they're staying as true as possible to the original story. People who are "geek-cool" suffer the derision of almost all other types of cool - hence the lack of recognition. Geeks suffer for their coolness. They not only put in the time to learn the useless things that they know, they also have to put up with the endless torment inflicted upon them by - to pick a group at random - people who are "athletic-cool".

I'm not saying that any of these types of "cool" are necessarily better than the others. Some are just smarter.